When it comes to divorce, it means things are really going bad. Divorce forces you to make decisions that will impact your future. You’re at a point where emotions run high, and thinking straight is not really an option. Somewhere in between, you run into two familiar terms – divorce mediator in OKC and mediation lawyer. You might end up assuming that the two almost mean the same.
So, there is a good chance you will hire the wrong person, rather than what you actually need. In this post, we will provide a detailed insight into what each role does. This way, you can make an informed choice that will further help with your situation.
What is the Role of a Divorce Mediator?
Yes. You will obviously want to know the actual role of a divorce mediator. The mediator acts as a neutral party, but will never advocate on behalf of either spouse. In fact, their primary role is to create an environment where both you and your spouse can discuss the crucial matters. After all, you need to agree on dividing the property, who will get child custody, and the finances. All of this without having a judge make the call.
Moreover, mediators don’t take sides when it comes to divorce. On the contrary, they are here to facilitate a frank and open discussion. Besides, they will also explain and translate the key aspects of Oklahoma law. The mediators are also responsible for translating your emotional disagreements into something concrete. In a way, with the help of the mediator, you and your partner can work out a workable plan. The mediators must maintain absolute neutrality. If they lean toward one spouse, this would undermine trust.
What Else Do Mediators Bring to the Table?
Mediators also have a good understanding of conflict resolution and legal proceedings. This background helps them manage not just the divorce paperwork. They are also capable of addressing the emotional friction that comes up between two individuals who have to build a new life after living together.
When Should You Call a Mediation Lawyer in OKC?
As far as the mediation lawyer is concerned, they have a slightly different role than that of a divorce mediator. The lawyer is representing one of the spouses. They are here to safeguard one spouse’s interests and will review the proposed agreements. By and large, they will make sure their client understands the implications of their actions and what they’re signing before anything becomes binding.
Most individuals hire a mediation lawyer for the sole purpose of reviewing an agreement that was drafted in the presence of a mediator. They will ensure that what is being drafted protects the interests of the people they are representing. If you are keen to have a layer of protection during a divorce, hiring the services of a mediation lawyer makes perfect sense. And you must seriously consider hiring a lawyer, instead of looking for ways to save some money.
Does it Really Help in the Long Run?
With the mediator facilitating a fruitful conversation, and the attorneys reviewing the legal proceedings for each spouse, the outcome is always satisfactory. As a couple, you get the benefit of bypassing a harrowing and complicated separation. Divorce is never easy, but when you can protect your individual interests, at least you will have something to make the right start.
Why You Should Never Confuse the Two Roles
This is one mistake many people make when looking for an amicable solution. When you confuse a mediator and a mediation lawyer, it is bound to cause a lot of frustration. If you hire a mediation lawyer and expect them to act as a neutral facilitator, then you’re wrong. As mentioned earlier in the post, the lawyer will be representing you and not act as a mediator on behalf of your spouse. There is also a flip side that you must take into account. If you are solely relying on a mediator and don’t have any lawyer reviewing the final agreement, you are at risk. You may end up signing a binding agreement without understanding the long-term impact.
You need a layer to safeguard your interests and to understand the legal aspects of the draft. So, before hiring anyone, make sure to ask them the specific role they are meant to play. Don’t leave anything to chance or fate!
How is Mediation different from a Fully Contested Divorce?
Mediation moves faster than litigation. A fully contested divorce, on the other hand, takes time, especially those involving disputed custody or significant assets. Combined with repeated filings and court scheduling backlogs, the case can take up to a year. At the same time, mediated cases can be wrapped up in a matter of a few weeks or months. It also helps the case when both parties are willing to negotiate with utmost honesty.
There is also the matter of cost that needs to be factored in. In the context of litigation, you have to incur expenses for hearings. You have to spend a considerable amount on the attorney who is representing your interests. But mediation generally includes an hourly mediator fee that both spouses split. So, you end up paying a fraction of the fee compared to what a lengthy courtroom battle costs.
Fighting for divorce in a courtroom can be exhausting and leaves both parties in resentment. Mediation is ideal for couples who want to separate on better terms.
So, What Happens During Mediation Sessions?
Mediation sessions focus on the same core issues a contested divorce tries to address. However, there is one big difference. Mediation is all about having a proper conversation and coming to an agreement.
- Proper division of assets such as home, car, and joint bank accounts
- Child support based on Oklahoma’s statutory income guidelines
- Discussions related to spousal support, if and when one spouse requests
- Allocation of marital debts, if any
The sessions typically involve multiple meetings to iron out the details of the agreement. One sitting is not enough to resolve everything for a couple who has built a life together. There are issues with retirement accounts and business ownership, and rushing through doesn’t help.
What if one spouse finds something that was not given due consideration?
For instance, you and your spouse had built a retirement account that is of substantial value. So, here, dividing something like a 401K will require a separate legal document known as a qualified domestic relations order. Here, an experienced mediator in Oklahoma City will try to flag this requirement early on. There is no point leaving it as an afterthought once everything is settled.
When Mediation Doesn’t Work?
To be fair, mediation may work fine for a few couples, but not for everyone. In cases involving domestic violence, or where there is evidence of one spouse hiding assets, mediation would never work. Here, the couple has to call for full legal representation, and this is only possible through litigation.
A good mediator will always recognize the warning signs. Based on their experience, they can recommend against continuing with the mediation. Of course, the mediators will lose a paying client, but their recommendation will go a long way to safeguard the interests of a vulnerable spouse. The collaborative approach will only work when both parties are at least on the same level playing field.
Why is Financial Honesty Crucial for Mediation?
If you and your spouse have opted for mediation, make sure to be honest while disclosing your financial details. This is because if the agreement is built on incomplete details, it has a higher chance of falling apart. If there are any hidden assets or undisclosed debts before the divorce finalizes, things may fall apart. As such, most experienced mediators encourage disclosure early on during the sessions. Please bring all the documented financial statements to help with the negotiation.
When one spouse suspects the other of hiding assets or income details, this is where one can look for investigative support. The investigator will then look to uncover the financial records that will help in a better mediation outcome. This, in turn, ensures the final agreement reflects the couple’s actual financial worth rather than an incomplete one.
At Sneaky Cat Private Investigations, we can help you connect with experienced mediation professionals. If needed, we can also provide investigative support to build a full picture before any agreement is finalized. To learn more, you can look at our divorce mediation services.
What If Mediation Fails to Address the Core Issue?
If you opt for mediation and it fails without producing a full agreement, the case will then move into traditional litigation. The things you discussed during mediation will not be admissible in court. During mediation, you and your spouse did have some leverage to negotiate in good faith. However, once the case moves into litigation, both parties will use confidential matters against each other. This is why divorce proceedings settled in court leave both parties bitter.
Do You Need Mediation in Oklahoma?
Some counties in Oklahoma require mediation, specifically in cases related to custody disputes. This is at a time when the rest of the divorce proceedings are being done through litigation. Oklahoma courts want both parents to agree on a schedule rather than imposing one that might not serve the child’s best interest. You must also make it a point to check the local county rules. This is because the requirements are bound to shift, based on where the case is filed.
How Long Will the Whole Process Take?
When you and your spouse already agree on the critical issues, the case can wrap up in a matter of a few sessions. However, cases with major disputes, like business ownership, contested custody, and division of assets, may take longer. So, having a realistic timeline expectation right at the start will be beneficial for both spouses. You are fighting for a divorce, and as such, you must make a conscious effort to look at every aspect. In a way, approaching the divorce proceedings with a bit of patience is always helpful.
How Should You Prepare for the First Session?
As a couple, if you are entering mediation for the first time, it makes sense to do some groundwork. As such, try to gather all the financial documents to bring about some much-needed clarity. You must also discuss issues related to child custody and division of assets. Yes, we know it is tough. But when both spouses have an honest conversation, the outcome will be more productive and positive.
Yes, there is a lot at stake here. However, you must put aside all the emotions and look at the big picture. You are in mediation, and as such, you are not going to gain anything by winning a particular argument. What you must look for is your financial well-being and parenting time. When you go in with greater clarity, it will give the mediator something to work on.
Making the Final Call- Divorce Mediator or Mediation Lawyer
So, it all comes down to your particular situation and how you want to proceed with the divorce. From here on, the onus is on you. As far as choosing between a divorce mediator and a mediation lawyer, it comes down to having a good understanding of the role. The mediator will keep the conversation fair and productive between both spouses. The mediation lawyer is here to safeguard the individual interests of one spouse during or after the conversation.
If you understand the clear distinction, it will help you move through the divorce with less friction and argument. If you need help with mediation in Oklahoma City, you can reach out to us.
At Sneaky Cat Private Investigations, we are here for the long haul. To see how our mediation support works, you can visit us or explore the firm’s full range of services for related legal support. Feel free to reach out to us if you are having a difficult time, and we will try to address your concern as soon as possible.
